1 00:00:02,330 --> 00:00:05,580 ♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪ 2 00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:07,170 ♪ On the other side. ♪ 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:09,800 ♪ Well, I paid a visit ♪ 4 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,260 ♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪ 5 00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:16,260 ♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪ 6 00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:18,260 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 7 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,560 ♪ Till further notice ♪ 8 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:25,690 ♪ I'm in between ♪ 9 00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:30,860 ♪ From where I'm standing ♪ 10 00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:34,610 ♪ My grass is green. ♪ 11 00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:41,290 ♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪ 12 00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,290 ♪ On the other side. ♪ 13 00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:46,420 Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 14 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,960 and NICKELODEON 15 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,750 (slurps): Ew! 16 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:50,630 Not very lemony. 17 00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:51,760 Keep juicing. 18 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,920 Maybe we should just make instant. 19 00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,430 I wouldn't dream of altering 20 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:58,510 our pre-county fair tradition of making real lemonade... 21 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,050 to get us into the mood. 22 00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,470 (slurps) 23 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,730 Because nothing says country like choking on a seed. 24 00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:06,810 Hey, do you guys realize we've been going 25 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,110 to the county fair for eight years now? 26 00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,440 At least. 27 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,440 Lost my first baby tooth on a candy apple. 28 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:15,320 So I've taken the liberty of updating our list for tomorrow. 29 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,490 I mean, we're way past kiddie rides and petting zoos. 30 00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:19,490 I totally agree. 31 00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:20,990 So I have something new to... 32 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,490 Oh, good. 33 00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:23,660 Now, I thought we'd enjoy 34 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,790 the Amish quilt exhibits. 35 00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:28,210 Oh, and I wouldn't mind trying my hand at spinning wool, 36 00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:29,500 if that doesn't offend 37 00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:30,880 anyone's feminist sensibilities. 38 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:31,800 DODIE: We can work that in, 39 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,670 uh... between the topiary demonstration 40 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,590 and the rabbit barn. 41 00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:38,510 To another great, unchanged, BFF tradition. 42 00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:39,930 I invited Darren. 43 00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:41,350 (spits) 44 00:01:41,430 --> 00:01:43,310 Should have gone with the instant. 45 00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:45,140 He is my boyfriend. 46 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:48,440 But it's always just been the three of us. 47 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,940 And it still will be... plus Darren. 48 00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:52,360 He really wants to go. 49 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:53,780 Oh, sure. 50 00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:54,820 I never heard him say that. 51 00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:57,280 Correct me if I'm mistaken, 52 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,410 but didn't Darren use to moo at us on fair day? 53 00:02:00,490 --> 00:02:03,200 Yeah, when he was, like, ten. 54 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,660 You just want to be stuck 55 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:07,040 on the Ferris wheel with your boyfriend, 56 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:11,000 so you can make out like they do in every teen movie. 57 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,340 That's not why. 58 00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:17,760 I want to share the day with him. 59 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,510 And you guys. 60 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:21,890 It'll be just like always. 61 00:02:21,970 --> 00:02:23,300 And if anything, 62 00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:25,430 it'll be more fun with Darren along. 63 00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,350 Fine... but I'm not making a new list. 64 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,400 Darren can just pet the angora rabbits with the rest of us. 65 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,570 (Macie sneezes) 66 00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:35,480 Sorry. 67 00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:36,690 Mere mention. 68 00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:40,280 HOODSEY: Did you know they're milking a camel at the fair, 69 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,740 and they're selling the milk, like to drink? 70 00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:44,830 I refuse to be party 71 00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:46,740 to more anti-cow propaganda. 72 00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,000 First the soybean, then the goat 73 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,000 and now a mean- tempered dromedary? 74 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,920 What if it spits while it's being milked? 75 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,250 Oh, we wouldn't want to miss that. 76 00:02:56,340 --> 00:02:58,010 Sour Explosion layer? 77 00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,920 No lactating camels for us, Hoods. 78 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:03,180 We have bigger freaks to fry. 79 00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:06,510 I heard from Dwayne, who heard from his carny worker cousin, 80 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,640 that this year's fair is showcasing 81 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,270 an exhibit of nature's oddities. 82 00:03:10,350 --> 00:03:10,890 Wow! 83 00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:13,060 I wonder what it'd be like 84 00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:14,360 to have a carny worker in the family. 85 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,940 Beyond our wildest dreams, but that's not the point. 86 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:20,320 Dwayne's cousin, who goes by one name-- 87 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,570 Raymo-- says that... 88 00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:22,320 Raymo. 89 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,120 Even sounds like a carny worker. 90 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,790 Enviably so, but again, not the point. 91 00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:28,870 One of nature's oddities is 92 00:03:28,950 --> 00:03:32,040 a real, live, two-headed horse. 93 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,370 No way! 94 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:37,460 With two noses and four eyes and four ears and everything? 95 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,300 Yep. 96 00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,380 (cracks lollipop) 97 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,090 Cracked through to the jalapeño. 98 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:42,630 You finish. 99 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,970 I'm too excited to eat. 100 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,390 A two-headed horse. 101 00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:49,770 We got to see it, Carl! 102 00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:52,140 This violates the best friend/boyfriend pact, 103 00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:53,690 and Ginger knows it. 104 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:54,810 It clearly states that the best friend 105 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,320 must get prior verbal approval 106 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,530 before invading a "girls only" event 107 00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:00,740 with said boyfriend, 108 00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,900 or it's an all-out conflict. 109 00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:04,700 Um... could we not talk? 110 00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:07,660 Because when you get all military-like, 111 00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:09,870 it's scary and confusing. 112 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,040 Oh, how can I expect you to understand? 113 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,080 You don't even care about the county fair. 114 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,750 For your info-tainment, 115 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:18,670 me and Carl are going to the fair tomorrow. 116 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:23,090 What's the Gripling limo doing in our neighborhood? 117 00:04:23,170 --> 00:04:24,840 Hi, Courtney. 118 00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,260 How's it going? 119 00:04:26,340 --> 00:04:27,550 Oh. 120 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:28,760 Not too close, Dodie. 121 00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:31,140 I've come down with a dreadful case of boredom, 122 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:32,480 and it might be catching. 123 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,690 Huh? 124 00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:36,560 Summer is almost over, and I haven't had 125 00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:37,860 that offbeat summer experience, 126 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:40,820 which I will use to enthrall 127 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,280 less-interesting peers on school's first day. 128 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,910 And don't suggest I recycle one of my old stories. 129 00:04:45,990 --> 00:04:48,990 That may have worked last year, 130 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:49,870 but not in high school. 131 00:04:49,950 --> 00:04:53,040 What's Ginger up to these days? 132 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,170 Oh, just violating practically every BFF law there ever was. 133 00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:58,500 Tension in the ranks? 134 00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,040 Oh. 135 00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:00,710 How un-boring. 136 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,260 Courtney... 137 00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:07,010 I think I know just the offbeat summer experience for you. 138 00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:08,800 Hmm... 139 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,810 Last night's chow mein... 140 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:11,680 rind of gouda. 141 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,270 Oh, we have a winner! 142 00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:16,600 Week-old Tex-Mex casserole. 143 00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:18,650 Mrs. F, I can't help but admire 144 00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:21,020 your confidence in your leftovers. 145 00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:21,650 Comes with age, Macie. 146 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:22,900 You girls want eggs? 147 00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,400 Sounds good, but we can't. 148 00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,410 We're saving our stomachs for fair food. 149 00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:30,950 Well, my stomach can handle Lois' special eggs 150 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,830 and a fried salami on a stick, thank you very much. 151 00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:33,870 LOIS: That reminds me... 152 00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,410 my Miracle Man Slicer-Dicer-- 153 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:39,130 it's on the fritz ever since you ruined the last one, 154 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:39,920 cutting up old boots. 155 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,670 Julie and old boots. 156 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:44,300 Whatever. 157 00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:47,430 I need a replacement, and they only sell them at the fair. 158 00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:48,630 Ginger, take $20 159 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,100 and pick me up a new one, would you? 160 00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:52,430 Hey, all! 161 00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:53,390 Or should I just say moo? 162 00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:56,520 Hi, Darren. 163 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,900 Want some of my huevos especiale? 164 00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:01,190 Do I smell last week's Tex-Mex casserole? 165 00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:01,770 Right on. 166 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,730 GINGER: You can't. 167 00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:06,610 It's our tradition to head straight 168 00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:09,070 for the giant deep-fried sticky bun booth. 169 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,160 (chuckles) 170 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,450 Darren... 171 00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:14,660 might I suggest that you allow Hoodsey and myself 172 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:17,000 to show you the real county fair-- 173 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,790 the dark, seamy underbelly that the girls never see 174 00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:22,460 as they stroll through bunny barns and the like? 175 00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:23,380 We're going to the bunny barns? 176 00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:26,800 I promise you'll have the best day ever. 177 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,640 Maybe we'll even get stuck on top of the Ferris wheel, 178 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,180 if you know what I mean. 179 00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,510 Not really. 180 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,140 LOIS: I know what you mean. 181 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:38,480 Heck, that ploy was around when Martha Washington was a girl. 182 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,560 And it does no good to bribe the Ferris wheel operator, 183 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:42,650 believe me. 184 00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:43,940 (car horn beeps) 185 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,530 CHAUFFEUR: Good day, all. 186 00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:49,400 I'm here to shuttle everyone to the county fair. 187 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,160 Good morning, simple country folk. 188 00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:56,490 Whoa. 189 00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:59,120 It's Heidi meets Ellie Mae meets a stylist. 190 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,710 Courtney, what are you doing here? 191 00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:04,040 Going to the fair with you, of course. 192 00:07:04,130 --> 00:07:06,800 Our county fair? 193 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,210 The very same, Macie. 194 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:11,380 Why, I would never have even known we lived in a county 195 00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:13,260 if it weren't for Dodie. 196 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,690 It's everything I imagined-- 197 00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:30,860 the sights, the smells, the lack of fashion. 198 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:31,570 So, uh, hey... 199 00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:32,990 let's hit the rides, have some food 200 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:34,660 and, uh... what, split by 1:00? 201 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,870 One? 202 00:07:36,950 --> 00:07:38,240 We always stay until night. 203 00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:39,540 You do? 204 00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:40,620 I mean, we do? 205 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,330 COURTNEY: Oh, Darren... 206 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,120 haven't you seen Dodie's list? 207 00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:46,880 So much to do, so little time. 208 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,630 Mmm... my thoughts exactly. 209 00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:50,050 Come on, Hoods. 210 00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:51,840 Meet back here at 8:00. 211 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:52,720 No prob. 212 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,090 Say, sis... 213 00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:56,100 how about letting me relieve your burden 214 00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:58,930 of purchasing the momster a new slicer-dicer? 215 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,890 Hold on. 216 00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,900 You're going to conveniently forget 217 00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:05,270 and use the money for junk. 218 00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:07,520 Uh... how right you are not to trust me. 219 00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:09,940 I was going to use it for multiple viewings 220 00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,280 of the two-headed horse. 221 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,910 You are seriously disturbed. 222 00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:14,990 Well, then, I'm in the right place. 223 00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:17,490 (both cackle) 224 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:27,920 You were right. 225 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,880 These things are great. 226 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,050 I know. 227 00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:35,640 That's why I wanted to be here for your first bite. 228 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,890 Do you people know what you're doing? 229 00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:41,770 Why, nursing seals have less fat than these buns. 230 00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:44,270 Yes, but the giant deep-fried pickle 231 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:47,100 burns serious calories just with the chewing, 232 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:48,650 so it balances out. 233 00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:52,030 Courtney, we don't want to think about fat grams today. 234 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,700 We come here to feel young and uncomplicated. 235 00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:56,110 Really? 236 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,450 Oh, I've always wanted to feel that way. 237 00:08:58,530 --> 00:08:59,780 Maybe later we can go 238 00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,790 on one of those nauseating rides, 239 00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:03,960 and I'll toss my cookies in a metal rubbish bin. 240 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,170 Cool with me. 241 00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:08,000 Ew... Darren. 242 00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:11,300 COURTNEY: Are you telling me 243 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:14,630 these fuzzy, cuddly creatures are real, live sheep? 244 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,840 MACIE: Best in the county. 245 00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:18,720 They're getting ready for the show ring. 246 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,060 Competition, stylish outfits, attentive servants. 247 00:09:23,140 --> 00:09:24,730 Sheep are so me. 248 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:26,690 Come on, we'll show you our favorite. 249 00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:30,940 Good luck, Mamie. 250 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:32,480 She won't be showing this year. 251 00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:34,320 Mamie's just given birth. 252 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,650 There's her lamb. 253 00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:37,070 (bleats feebly) 254 00:09:37,150 --> 00:09:39,320 It's refusing to nurse. 255 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:44,160 Once it rejects its mother, we have to take it away. 256 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,830 Wrench a newborn babe 257 00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:48,330 from this prize-winning, snowy-white sow, 258 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,000 just because it's not thirsty at the moment? 259 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,090 Barbaric! 260 00:09:53,170 --> 00:09:55,170 Ginger, hurry up. 261 00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:57,470 Dodie Bishop can't hurry me... 262 00:09:57,550 --> 00:09:59,300 not on fair day... 263 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,050 not in the sheep barn. 264 00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,930 Yeah, about that-- 265 00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:04,850 did you notice it smells in here? 266 00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:05,730 No, it doesn't. 267 00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:08,350 Besides, it's part of being around animals. 268 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,520 So what's say we go be around some rides? 269 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:15,110 I hear the Screaming Squid hangs you upside down for a whole 30 seconds. 270 00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:17,360 That's for later. 271 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,740 Can't you just enjoy the sheep barn? 272 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,570 I don't have to do that, do I? 273 00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,030 Because these are new Kicks. 274 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,160 None of this silliness. 275 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,750 You can reject your mother later 276 00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:27,410 when you're a teenage lamb. 277 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,460 MACIE: The lamb is drinking. 278 00:10:30,540 --> 00:10:32,040 Farmer Don! 279 00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,880 I can't believe it. 280 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,130 You've got a way with animals, young lady. 281 00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:40,050 Our very own sheep whisperer. 282 00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:43,050 Now, I noticed some icky stuff on the lamb's head, 283 00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:44,600 so you might want to give her 284 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,470 a quick shampoo and blow-dry. 285 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,890 Oh, the mama sheep will take care of that. 286 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,230 It's just the afterbirth. 287 00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,440 I'll meet you outside. 288 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,230 Darren! 289 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,190 Something wrong with Darren? 290 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,150 Too much sharing the day. 291 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,360 (hums smugly) 292 00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:08,500 (carnival music playing) 293 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,120 That's got to be Raymo. 294 00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:14,750 Name's Carl. 295 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,250 Your cousin Dwayne told me to look you up. 296 00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:18,800 Said you knew your way around this place. 297 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,640 Don't remember having a cousin Dwayne. 298 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,600 Yeah, well, Dwayne said you wouldn't. 299 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,730 My friend and I are on a scientific quest. 300 00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:31,520 Perhaps you could, uh... 301 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,310 Go behind the Tilt 'n' Spin and veer right by the Funhouse. 302 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,190 Second tent down. 303 00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:39,110 Got the pony you're looking for. 304 00:11:39,190 --> 00:11:40,650 Let's go, Carl. 305 00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:41,570 Thank you. 306 00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,780 Oh, I'd also like to thank you 307 00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:45,490 for remaining a true American icon, 308 00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:46,870 the last of a dying breed, 309 00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:49,870 like the cowboy and the big band leader. 310 00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:51,710 Nice of someone to notice. 311 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,960 Don't tell your friends. 312 00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,380 Hush tickets. 313 00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:00,210 How deliciously corrupt. 314 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:03,510 You don't disappoint, Raymo. 315 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,140 Ooh, lookee, look. 316 00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:08,890 A woman working out 317 00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:11,680 on pioneer-era exercise equipment. 318 00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:14,150 Excuse me. 319 00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:17,060 What's that medieval-looking contraption? 320 00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:17,480 It's a loom. 321 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,780 I'm making cloth. 322 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:20,650 Have a seat. 323 00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,450 I'll give you a weaving lesson. 324 00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:23,320 Mama always said 325 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,530 not to bother to learn a trade, 326 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:27,410 but I guess one time won't hurt. 327 00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:29,740 Why is Courtney stopping here? 328 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:30,750 Isn't she great? 329 00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,000 She'll try anything. 330 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,500 And we've got this nifty art to prove it. 331 00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,920 Ginger, it's one thing to drag me through the pie pavilion, 332 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000 but this craft thing? 333 00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,260 It's pushing it. 334 00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,840 Just a few more minutes, Darren. 335 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:43,840 I promise. 336 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,090 Why don't we just go off by ourselves? 337 00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,260 I-I can't. 338 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,600 Wait here a sec, okay? 339 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,770 Fine-- I'll go look at that furniture. 340 00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:56,480 Got to be more interesting than a huckleberry pie. 341 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,520 (sighs) 342 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,030 Emergency meeting, outside. 343 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,450 Dodie. 344 00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:08,410 Courtney is ruining our fair day. 345 00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:09,530 What do you mean? 346 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,410 We're doing everything on the list. 347 00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:13,660 Well, she's slowing us down. 348 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,710 She has to try everything, 349 00:13:15,790 --> 00:13:17,120 make comments, gush. 350 00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:19,540 You never should have invited her without consulting us. 351 00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:21,670 Oh, and I suppose you consulted us 352 00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:25,470 when you invited lover man on the Ferris wheel? 353 00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:27,550 The boy formerly known as Darren. 354 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,640 Well, that's different, and you know it. 355 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,180 Darren's my boyfriend, and Courtney's... 356 00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:33,180 Well, Courtney. 357 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,640 She doesn't belong here. 358 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,730 Tell that to a grateful Farmer Don. 359 00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:39,480 Um, not to mention the hippie chick with the loom. 360 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:42,820 Look-- Courtney's my friend, but that doesn't mean 361 00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:45,400 I want to share our BFF traditions with her. 362 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:48,320 That's for the three of us... plus Darren. 363 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,200 Plus Courtney. 364 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:49,780 Ginger, 365 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,620 I've waited long enough. 366 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,700 I'm going to ride the Screaming Squid 367 00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:54,910 and get some pizza. 368 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:55,700 No... you can't. 369 00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:56,790 Excuse me? 370 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:57,710 What I meant was... 371 00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,290 She meant, we don't do rides 372 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,380 until it gets dark, and pizza is out, 373 00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:03,750 because we eat giant deep-fried pickles next. 374 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,920 Let me explain something. 375 00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:06,920 (anvil rings) 376 00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:07,720 I don't care. 377 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,430 I'm tired of being dragged 378 00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:11,760 all over this place doing your thing. 379 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,140 I came here to have fun... 380 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,850 with my girlfriend. 381 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:17,430 Catch you later. 382 00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:19,650 Darren, wait. 383 00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:22,110 Here we are. 384 00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:23,190 Where'd Darren go? 385 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:23,730 To the midway. 386 00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,610 I'm going after him. 387 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:28,240 Tradition's all messed up anyway. 388 00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:30,700 It sure is. 389 00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:36,620 Stay behind the ropes at all times. 390 00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:38,250 No feeding the animals. 391 00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:42,540 CARL: World's largest mouse, world's smallest dog, 392 00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:44,500 live, two-headed horse. 393 00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:45,750 Gosh, Carl. 394 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,050 That horse looks kind of small 395 00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:49,430 in that picture. 396 00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:52,390 That's because it's a miniature horse, you ingrate. 397 00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,390 And finish that caramel apple outside the tent. 398 00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:55,970 It keeps getting better. 399 00:14:56,060 --> 00:15:00,810 The horse is already a freak of nature by being miniature, 400 00:15:00,890 --> 00:15:02,350 and it's got two heads. 401 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,150 Being small is nothing to be ashamed of. 402 00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:07,150 I think they're a special breed, Carl. 403 00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:09,240 I'm just saying, this horse may be 404 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,530 the singularly most twisted thing I've ever seen. 405 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:14,330 And dude, I have seen a lot. 406 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,160 No flash photography. 407 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,540 Go on in. 408 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,750 (people oohing and ahhing) 409 00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:27,460 MAN (in background): Well, that's something you don't see every day. 410 00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:29,260 (oohing and ahhing) 411 00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,640 A capybara from South America. 412 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,310 I mean, it's a member of the rodentia family, 413 00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:39,770 but they can't pawn it off 414 00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,440 as a common field mouse. 415 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,190 Yeah. 416 00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:45,360 Who do they think they're fooling? 417 00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:50,570 Big deal. 418 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,570 You see those on TV commercials. 419 00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,610 We want the real thing. 420 00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:56,120 WOMAN: Get out of there. 421 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,030 Out of my way. 422 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,120 HOODSEY: Step back. 423 00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,330 CARL: Coming through. 424 00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:00,700 Look at those people. 425 00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,330 They're displaying the worst of humanity. 426 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,630 Hey, back off, you horse harassers! 427 00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,340 Let's get out of here, Carl. 428 00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:10,300 Maybe some things are best left to the imagination. 429 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:11,720 No, Hoods. 430 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,680 Maybe I was once like this unfeeling mob-- 431 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,010 interested only in the exploitation 432 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,930 of a tiny, two-headed beast of burden. 433 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,060 But now, 434 00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:24,270 now I'm interested in something else entirely. 435 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:27,690 You mean...? 436 00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:29,480 That's right. 437 00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:29,980 Liberation! 438 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,240 (horse whinnies) 439 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,490 Yee-ha! 440 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:37,160 Carl, you don't even know how to ride. 441 00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:51,300 Hello, ladies. 442 00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,260 Run, boy. 443 00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,930 I mean, boys. 444 00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:56,890 Run like the wind! 445 00:16:56,970 --> 00:17:01,430 Ginger, do you care that your only sibling 446 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,060 is on what appears to be a two-headed, runaway pony? 447 00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:05,600 Of course she doesn't, Macie. 448 00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:06,730 She's having a boyfriend crisis. 449 00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:08,650 Ginger, what was the fight about? 450 00:17:08,730 --> 00:17:11,320 I-It wasn't really a fight. 451 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,360 I guess Darren just got bored. 452 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,070 Bored? Here? 453 00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:16,070 I don't understand. 454 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,700 He never really wanted to come. 455 00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:18,780 I talked him into it. 456 00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:20,410 I just thought Darren and I... 457 00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:20,950 Picture T-shirts. 458 00:17:21,030 --> 00:17:23,040 Oh, we have to do this! 459 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:26,210 ...would have the best day ever. 460 00:17:26,290 --> 00:17:28,580 COURTNEY: Ginger! 461 00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,130 Guys, I don't really feel 462 00:17:30,210 --> 00:17:31,800 like having my picture taken. 463 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,300 And we need to find Darren 464 00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:35,300 so someone will stop being mad at me. 465 00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,300 You don't want to go there, Dodie. 466 00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:37,930 Fine-- take Ginger's side. 467 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:40,010 COURTNEY: I should say not. 468 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,890 It's about creating lasting memories. 469 00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:44,100 Never pass up an opportunity 470 00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:45,060 to have your image preserved, 471 00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:46,350 even if it is blurry 472 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,270 and will probably fade with washing. 473 00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,270 Now, remember-- teeth, not gums. 474 00:17:57,650 --> 00:18:00,660 Not how I want to remember our day. 475 00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:02,120 Again, please. 476 00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:09,170 Come on. 477 00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:10,170 Drink up, boys. 478 00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,710 Long journey ahead. 479 00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:14,920 (gasps) 480 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:15,880 No! 481 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,670 I ran you too hard! 482 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,680 Your liberation was your downfall. 483 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,180 HOODSEY: Oh, Carl. 484 00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:24,260 Carl, you should have seen it. 485 00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,680 That mean carny dude was screaming, 486 00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:29,390 and people were all, "I want my money back!" 487 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,310 And someone let loose the giant mouse and... 488 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,650 Agh! 489 00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:35,190 I'm scarred! 490 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,570 Scarred for life! 491 00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:39,280 I should have left well enough alone. 492 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,870 Sure these two fine heads were ridiculed 493 00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:44,200 by fellow horses and people alike, 494 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,370 but at least they were together. 495 00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:47,250 (sniffling) 496 00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:49,920 Uh... 497 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,210 Carl. 498 00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:52,380 That smells funny... 499 00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:55,710 like when I used to wash my toys in the toilet. 500 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:56,920 Hey. 501 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,840 It's a stuffed animal. 502 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,340 Look at those glass eyes, that synthetic mane. 503 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,930 So you were in on this scheme, too? 504 00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:07,180 Boy, were we suckered! 505 00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:12,310 Guess there's no one true thing at this place. 506 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,310 Maybe. 507 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,440 Maybe not. 508 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,400 How'd you find me, anyway? 509 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,360 Duh. 510 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,610 I knew you'd go for the bunny barn. 511 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,160 Hoods, it's like sometimes you're my second head. 512 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,780 I know what you mean, brother. 513 00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:27,330 (goofy laughter) 514 00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:29,750 (bell rings ) 515 00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:31,160 Ooh, I did it, I did it! 516 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:34,630 And it only took 50 tries at a dollar each. 517 00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:37,250 I love this game. 518 00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:39,090 We've looked everywhere for Darren. 519 00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:41,090 COURTNEY: Stack them up again, boys. 520 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,550 I still can't believe it. 521 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:45,930 I never expected Courtney Gripling to be so into the fair 522 00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,140 and Darren to be so not into it. 523 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,140 I would've guessed 524 00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:50,680 she'd make fun of everything 525 00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,060 and make us miserable. 526 00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:53,480 I'm so sorry, Ginger. 527 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,270 I invited her to get back at you for inviting Darren. 528 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,980 I guess I was just afraid that you'd have a better time 529 00:19:59,070 --> 00:19:59,900 at the fair with your boyfriend 530 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,070 than you ever did with us. 531 00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:04,700 Maybe I wanted that, Dodie. 532 00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:05,740 A little. 533 00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:06,910 I'm sorry, too. 534 00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:09,490 Candy apples, anyone? 535 00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:12,460 I think my permanent teeth are all in. 536 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,130 (laughing) 537 00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:21,300 How do you get out of this thing? 538 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:22,300 Help! 539 00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:23,340 Macie! 540 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,300 Must get out. 541 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,300 Must get out. 542 00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:27,470 Oh... 543 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,350 You're on your own, girls. 544 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,270 I'm completely unattractive and disproportionate... 545 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,440 yet I can't look away. 546 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,030 (laughing) 547 00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:48,950 Look at your hair! 548 00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:58,340 GINGER: Courtney, you've been great. 549 00:20:58,420 --> 00:21:00,380 I can't wait to do this next year. 550 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,380 Next year? 551 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,010 You plan on coming back? 552 00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:04,340 OTHERS: Yes. 553 00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:05,430 Girls... 554 00:21:05,510 --> 00:21:06,430 Once is an experience. 555 00:21:06,510 --> 00:21:10,890 More than that is, well... borderline pathetic. 556 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,640 I mean, this is fodder for the cappuccino card, 557 00:21:15,730 --> 00:21:17,690 but it's a bit coarse for a Gripling. 558 00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:19,730 Here we go. 559 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,820 (laughing) 560 00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:24,150 I'd like to get off now. 561 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,490 You! 562 00:21:25,570 --> 00:21:26,320 Worker man with ponytail. 563 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,740 I insist you stop this thing at once. 564 00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:31,080 GINGER: It's no use. 565 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:31,790 Just enjoy the ride. 566 00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:36,040 I think I-I'm going to be... 567 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:37,870 (girls screaming) 568 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,210 (screaming and yelling) 569 00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:44,210 MACIE: Oh, for the love of Mary! 570 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:46,380 (crying) 571 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,060 GINGER: Darren! 572 00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:54,470 Darren! 573 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,350 Hey, Ginger. 574 00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,730 Be right down. 575 00:21:59,810 --> 00:22:01,730 Buy me a slice? 576 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,950 GINGER:Even though we all enjoyed the tractor pull, I'm pretty sure 577 00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:11,910 Darren and Courtney were glad the day was almost over. 578 00:22:11,990 --> 00:22:13,450 And to be honest, so was I. 579 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:18,580 It's exhausting trying to mix old traditions with new, 580 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,420 old friends with new. 581 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:24,380 But when Darren gave me the Miracle Man Slicer-Dicer, 582 00:22:24,460 --> 00:22:27,170 which I totally forgot to buy for Mom, 583 00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:30,930 I realized that while it wasn't the best day ever, Darren was. 584 00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:32,680 And that's what counts. 585 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,140 Hey, check it out. 586 00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:38,060 It makes perfect French fries, julienne. 587 00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,480 Got a potato? 588 00:22:45,530 --> 00:23:27,940 Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 589 00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:29,320 HOODSEY: I'm scarred! 590 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,440 Scarred for life!